Culture & Leisure

Participants seized every minute to acquaint with each other. Courtesy of Peony Chan

Match in a Flash

By Shermaine Ho

On a usual, hectic Friday evening, Johnny Kwan, a 38-year-old accountant, hurries to his date. In a cozy restaurant in Causeway Bay , fifteen women and fourteen men, each armed with a nametag, a scorecard and their sparkling personality, wait for his arrival. This is a speed-dating event, characterized by a whirlwind of dates in a single night.

Speed-dating participants get a series of 5 to 8 minute one-to-one encounters to get acquainted with each other. Whenever the bell is rung, the men move on to meet their next partner.

At the end of the night, after all the participants have met each other, they mark on a card to indicate whether they have an interest in meeting anyone again. If a mutual interest is noted, the organizers will provide each party with the other's phone number for future contact. Peony Chan, founder of Passion Dating Limited, said, “The idea of speed-dating came from the West. But it has become more popular in Asia in recent years. For many singles who are weary of mingling with strangers in the bar and attending blind dates, speed-dating offers a fun and safe alternative.”

Participants in speed-dating events are usually stereotyped as people who are physically unattractive or inept. Surprisingly enough, most of the people who use these services are actually confident and attractive.

Miss Chan said, “Most of them are professionals like architects, civil servants or even professors. They ranged from their early 20s to early 50s.”

Jenny, a 23-year-old accounting secretary, said, “When I first turned up at a speed-dating evening, to my relief none of the men were ugly or bald. Most of them were far too good looking to be single and straight.”

Professor Choi Yuk Ping, Susanne, from the Sociology Department of The Chinese University of Hong Kong , described speed-dating as a commercial product.

“It is geared for typical Hong Kongers, who constantly have to trade off time for money, and who are often too tired to go socializing after a tough day's work,” she said.

According to Ann Wong, a relationships expert, many people nowadays are often too busy with work to fit conventional dating into their agenda.

“Those who fit bars and clubs into their weekend schedule find their efforts fruitless. They are either too shy to approach people or find it difficult to determine whether club goers are actually interested in having a committed relationship,” Miss Wong said.

Isabelle, a 30-year-old primary school teacher, said, “We're all young professionals with busy lives. It's hard to meet new people in daily life. These events provide a guarantee of meeting fun, single men of similar age, and of high quality.”

Eric, a 32-year-old engineer, thought speed-dating was fun and efficient. “Unlike blind dates, you don't have to waste time on someone you are simply not interested in, out of sheer courtesy,” he said. “Time is precious in this business world . ”

The craze of speed-dating is taking off fast in Hong Kong . Passion Dating Limited, for instance, organizes two to three speed-dating events per month. Miss Chan said, “Speed-dating is becoming more acceptable in the society.” However, she remarked that in general, men in Hong Kong are still reluctant to join this unconventional way of finding their better halves. “We receive two times as many approaches from women as from men. It seems to be a matter of male pride. They feel embarrassed to admit that they can't get a girlfriend any other way.”

Miss Wong commented that women perceive speed-dating very differently from men. “They've seen it in ‘Sex and the City', and most of them think it's fun. They usually go in groups, and they know it's a safe environment. Men go on their own, and they certainly won't talk about it in front of their friends.”

Prof. Choi believes that facing pressure is another reason why women tend to be more active in activities like speed-dating and matchmaking.

“Women tend to be more sensitive to marriage issues. Pressure comes from many aspects: relatives, peers, and most importantly, age,” she said.

“Even though delayed marriage is rather common now, women still feel very embarrassed if they are unable to get married before the age of 35.”

Prof. Choi added that men usually have more choices when choosing partners.

“It is generally more acceptable for men to date women of a much younger age and to look for girlfriends in the mainland. But women don't do this,” she explained.

Although women in Hong Kong nowadays are generally more educated and financially independent, Prof. Choi believes that they are still very much affected by the Chinese tradition and culture, especially in issues like love and marriage.

Moreover, she said that the existing education system is also to be blamed. “The art and science streams system in high school means that boys and girls have lower chances to interact.

“It is because there are usually more boys studying science than girls, and more girls studying arts than boys,” she said.

The segregation between the two sexes begins in high school, continues in university and later in their careers.

“Few females are engaged in professions like engineering and IT, while in professions like education and nursing, they are the majority,” she explained.

“People tend to live with a fixed group of friends. And in a fast-paced city like Hong Kong, it's even more difficult for people to spare time and meet new people outside their own social circles,” she said.

Bogged down with balloons Courtesy of Peony Chan

Ice-breaking game in progress Courtesy of Peony Chan